The Folkloric Chronicles of Anne Thrope-Oloji

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Folkloric Chronicles Anne Thrope-Oloji

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''Well hello there, little Kokoko! If you're the kind of person who likes to party all year round, then you'll love my new compendium! It contains everything you need to know about the folklore and traditions of the World of Twelve, and I've even thrown in some celebrity gossip for free! I spoil you, really I do.

Anne Thrope-Oloji, folklorist and gossip columnist. ''

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Javian

Javian marks the beginning of the new year, and what better way to start it than by waltzing gracefully around the Clockwork Ball?! Throw some shapes on the dancefloor and show the god Xelor you can stick to the beat! And... one two three, one two three...

If you don't know how to dance, don't worry! You can always console yourself with a Thwee Kings Cake. This delicious, Cawwot-based pastry is traditionally eaten on Javian 6th. Legend has it that long ago, three wise Wabbits went in search of new lands, and were lost at sea for ten long years. Running desperately low on supplies, they decided to make a cake with the last few Cawwots in their sacks, but the vegetables had gone off! The first bite broke the poor Wabbits' teeth, which is why it has been customary to hade a Wabbit tooth in the cake ever since!

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Flovor

In Flovor there's still a real chill in the air, and if it doesn't kill you, it'll certainly make you stronger! Well, that's what the disciples of the goddess Sacrier like to tell themselves, anyway. If you want to see just how accurate their proverb is, visit the Flovor Bawl on the first of the month and find out for yourself!

If you'd rather warm yourself up with a banquet than with a Bawl, then Stove Yumday on Flovor 2nd is not to be missed! This ancient tradition, hailing from the Amaknian countryside, is a simple one: make a huge pile of pancakes, and give them all to a Gobball. If it eats them all, it's a sign that spring is about to arrive. If not, it's probably because your batter has gone off... or that the obese ovine has already eaten!

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Be careful not to overdo it, though, because there's another feast to come! Flovor 14th is Ballotwine's Day, when start-cross'd lovers send each other chocolates. And if you count your suitor by the dozen (like the charming Louse Degrain), you'll pile on the kilopods faster than you can blink. You'll end up with nothing but a big belly for your trouble - and gods help you if you clock those delicious doughnuts at the Too Faux Karnaval as well...

Fortunately, every four years, you can take part in the world-renowned Krozolympik Games. Flovor 29th is the perfect opportunity for you and your fellow competitors to get your hearts thumping and legs pumping, and to burn off a few calories while you're at it!

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Martalo

In Martalo, the rain keeps pouring - and so does the drink! Saint Potrick's day falls on the 17th of the month, and venerates the goddess Pandawa and her love of bamboo milk. It's not unusual to see other classes joining her disciples for an all-day (and all-night!) party - the Eniripsa Pinta Gone is a regular. Every year, he dresses in green and takes part in all the drinking competitions, even imbibing the infamous Grinness, a drink make from macerated clover. Needless to say, many people end the night in a very sorry state. When the participants start to look a little green around the gills, it's customary to wish them a happy Saint Potrick's Day before helping them into bed.

St. Potrick's Day also marks the beginning of spring, with birds chirping in the trees and flowers springing up in the fields. It's no surprise that after such a drunken evening, it's customary to deposit some natural fertiliser on your neighbours' flower beds. But be careful; it may be a generous gesture, but it's not to everyone's taste...

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Aperirel

On the first of Aperirel, zany pranksters try to stick Snappers on your back without you noticing. This may sound like harmless fun - but nothing could be further from the truth! A source of bitter dispute ('You know where you can stick your Snapper, you old cod!'), and salacious scandals, this tradition can cause the unwary all sorts of trouble! Take Magus Ax, for example. He had a Gudgeon stuck to his cape for two weeks, and the wise old sage's reputation has never recovered from the accusations of dubious personal hygiene. So a word to the wise: prudence.

Speaking of personal hygiene, I remember one particularly rainy Aperirel when Don Rouann, a playboy by profession, was caught naked in the Amakna fountain with only a young lady and her blushes for company. There's an old saying; "Aperirel showers bring Maysial flowers", but in Don's case, those showers brought him nothing but trouble - a terrible bout of pneumonia! Rushed urgently to the nearby Temple of Eniripsa, he was unable to take part in any of the Fleaster festivities.

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The Fleaster egg hunt is a much-loved tradition in the World of Twelve, and usually takes place in the gardens of Amakna Castle. They say that one year, King Allister hid a golden Dofus amongst the traditional Fleaster eggs. No one knew if this story was true, or just a legend, but suffice it to say that plenty of Srams, Rogues and Enutrofs took part that year!

Speaking of Enutrofs, Aperirel is the month of the Fabrikamation, the day when they pay homage to their god. More often than not, they'll send a little prayer his way, asking him to bring them luck, but they certainly won't get carried away. As well you know, Enutrofs are particularly stingy with their time, because time, after all, is money!

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Maysial

Fairy Lax spent her days blowing herself up so that other people could have some fun, but one Maysial she decided she'd had enough. She fancied a holiday, and so she went on strike, managing to convince all of her Fairy colleagues to do the same. In memory of their struggle, it was decided that the first of Maysial should become a bank holiday, so this month, why don't you kick back, relax and enjoy yourself?

A week later is the Maysial Munch - goodbye scrapping, hello scoffing! This celebration, in honour of the god Iop, is the perfect opportunity to make peace with your enemies by inviting them to make peace with your enemies by inviting them to share a delightful eight-course meal at your table! A friendly and peaceful occasion... until dessert at least - because once the eight courses are gone, the plates are sure to fly!

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Anyone unlucky enough to be injured by this cascade of crockery can get their treatment for free on Healy Thursday. This celebration, honouring Rosal, protector of the month of Maysial, invites healers to volunteer their services for the good of their peers. The Eniripsas are going to have their work cut out!

If scoffing, scrapping and throwing plates isn't really your thing, why not head over to the Super Gobbowl and soak up some of the atmosphere (and celebrate the team spirit!). This event, which takes place on Maysial 15th, is the sporting event of the year, and is not to be missed!

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Junssidor

Ah, it's Junssidor at last, when everyone heads outside to enjoy the sunshine and get some much-needed fresh air. If you like gardening, and prefer your vegetables organic and straight out of your garden, Plantalot Monday is the day for you! If you'd prefer a picnic, or a quiet walk through a beautiful, blooming garden, try the Guardian Party instead, which takes place on the 4th!

But the event of the month is undoubtedly Gobbstock! On the 21st, musicians across the World of Twelve will fill your heart with joy! This event is the perfect opportunity to dust off your flute or your zither, and organise an impromptu concert with your friends! Who can forget Jon Lemon's concert in the Bonta Arena? The ageing crooner performed some of his greatest hits, 'A Migraine' and 'Jailhouse Guy' being particularly well received.

Take my advice and make sure Yo Kohono isn't on the bill though, or the concert might end earlier than expected!

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Jullier

If you were born on the 4th of Jullier, like Tom Crust, then you're going to love Ultra Super Amakna! Originally organised by the famous Captain of the same name, this super event showcases everything that's super about the super city of Amakna. Super! So strap on your red, white and blue shields and dive right in!

But if patriotism isn't your cup of tea, then maybe Jullier 14th is for you! On this day, a handful of revolutionary peasants commemorate the day of the Taking of the Pastille, a tragic episode where King Allister, suffering from a sore throat, nearly choked to death on a cough sweet, which would have lead to the collapse of our beautiful monarchy! Every year on this date, rebellious opponents of the current regime throw Fairyworks from the castle walls to celebrate this symbolic event. Don't be surprised if you see the royal guard wandering through the fields!

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If you're looking to unwind and enjoy a moment of tenderness with your pet, then the Society for Partying and Caring for Animals' festival, held on Jullier 23rd, should be right up your street! It was created to honour the God Osamodas, and also to give thanks to the devoted owners of Bow Meows, Bow Wows and other domesticated beasts for their kindness towards their loyal companions. Make sure your pack your wellington boots though, as some of the animals can get a little over-zealous when marking their territory!

And finally, to close this summer month in suitable fashion, take a trip to the Trool Fair on Jullier 30th, when we celebrate the anniversary of its founding. With Gladiatrool fights to sate your bloodlust and Trool burgers to sate your hunger, there's something for everyone on Trool Day!